1. I've been a little distracted lately. By distracted I mean that I have been involved in some serious soul-shaking explorations. I feel a bit like a tree in November with my leaves scattered about me, but trees that time of year look taller than sometimes, and have the patience to make it through until spring.
2. The preceding metaphor depends a bit on the idea that winter actually happens. Catastrophic global climate change may mess with our entire fabric of images and metaphors -- wordsmiths, beware!
3. I came out to someone at work today. Suffice it to say that the conversation started with Mary Cheney and ended up with me describing the words "queer" and "genderqueer" to a Catholic woman in her seventies, who is a staunch Democrat and had a crush on JFK back in the day.
4. She declared that she never would have guessed I was queer because I was so "attractive and well-dressed". From this we learn that queer people are ugly, I've known that all along.
5. The five hour A&E Pride and Prejudice is the perfect stress relief tool. I think it is better for me since I'm horribly attracted to both of the main characters. How I long to make Miss Eliza Bennet blush, and I think I should like to make Mr. Darcy smile, or sweep me off my feet, or some such nonsense. Also, there are the clothes, and the landscape, and the language, and, oh, right, the sexual tension.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Dreaming
I've been having vivid potent dreams this week. I think because of the amount of caffeine, the small amounts of sleep and the general level of dreaming that I've been doing in my life. Period. I was asked this week if I would prefer to have small dreams... I think it is just very hard for me to give up the idea of having attainable goals.
I've been dreaming all morning, and people didn't used to dream this way, with google as a main tool for image finding, and spreadsheets to help us budget out dreams. It's a funny way to spend the day.
___
P.S.
It really bothers me that Blogger can't fix its grammer such that there can be "1 comment" on a post instead of "1 comments".
I've been dreaming all morning, and people didn't used to dream this way, with google as a main tool for image finding, and spreadsheets to help us budget out dreams. It's a funny way to spend the day.
___
P.S.
It really bothers me that Blogger can't fix its grammer such that there can be "1 comment" on a post instead of "1 comments".
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I should have known earlier... about everything
Let the record show that the first story I ever wrote that was longer than 3 pages was a story about a gender-bending Robin Hood who seduced and married the princess so that they could institute better income redistribution policies...
Really, why did it take me so long to figure myself out? I was pretty blatantly me at the age of 12.
Just sayin'.
(Correction: It was a five-act play - intro, rising action, climax, denoument, conclusion- we read a lot of Shakespeare in seventh grade)
Really, why did it take me so long to figure myself out? I was pretty blatantly me at the age of 12.
Just sayin'.
(Correction: It was a five-act play - intro, rising action, climax, denoument, conclusion- we read a lot of Shakespeare in seventh grade)
Sunday, January 21, 2007
This is me, except that it is all metaphorical, because I'm afraid of heights.
I'm taking a big, and I think good, risk right now, and I move each moment from falling to flying and back again. I am sorry to be cryptic, but it's hard to explain the jump while your falling.
And one final thought:
"I'm a good jumper, he said. But I'm not so good at landing. Maybe you should stay closer to the ground then, I said, and he said, No. The ground was the whole problem in the first place."
-Brian Andreas
Thursday, January 18, 2007
A More Serious Attempt
Corinne is a queer. She lives in HarborCity, but misses mountains in both Americas. Not fitting easily into any box, she creates space by playing with words, lipstick, census data, and bread recipes. She hopes that someday the words will be read by generations, the lipstick will flirt, the census data will liberate, and the bread will sustain.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
In Which Corinne Deals with Angst by Writing Silly Bios
Corinne is a dreadfully self-indulgent feminine thing who spends too much time reading books with pretentious titles or trying to write them with extremely limited success. She has never been published. She can flip her hair flirtatiously now that it is shorter and she is willing to talk to almost anyone about almost anything.
Corinne is a writer and research assistant living in HarborCity. She is not currently saving the world, but bakes a damn good loaf of bread and thinks this should count for something. She loves words and has a dictionary within arms reach at the dinner table. She fucks someone who is ambiguously gendered and occasionally writes about it, and you all occasionally listen.
Corinne lives in HarborCity and when she grows up she would like to make books, policy, and babies. Until then, she would like to play more often with words, lipstick, high heels, and economic data. she has never shaved her legs or been to California. She would like to go to California someday.
Corinne flirts dangerously with the faggots of her acquaintance and can't actually handle the real attentions of people who are actually interested in her. She writes bios like they might be personal ads. She has nothing to say about her writing. She wishes that someone else would do this for her. Her mother has offered to write one in the style of Marquez and this scares her particularly.
Corinne writes things that are sad or sappy or r-rated and require disclaimers, she rates the success of her writing by how many of these categories can be applied to each piece. she falls in love too easily and lives with two good friends on the third floor of a dilapidated house in HarborCity.
Corinne is a writer and research assistant living in HarborCity. She is not currently saving the world, but bakes a damn good loaf of bread and thinks this should count for something. She loves words and has a dictionary within arms reach at the dinner table. She fucks someone who is ambiguously gendered and occasionally writes about it, and you all occasionally listen.
Corinne lives in HarborCity and when she grows up she would like to make books, policy, and babies. Until then, she would like to play more often with words, lipstick, high heels, and economic data. she has never shaved her legs or been to California. She would like to go to California someday.
Corinne flirts dangerously with the faggots of her acquaintance and can't actually handle the real attentions of people who are actually interested in her. She writes bios like they might be personal ads. She has nothing to say about her writing. She wishes that someone else would do this for her. Her mother has offered to write one in the style of Marquez and this scares her particularly.
Corinne writes things that are sad or sappy or r-rated and require disclaimers, she rates the success of her writing by how many of these categories can be applied to each piece. she falls in love too easily and lives with two good friends on the third floor of a dilapidated house in HarborCity.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Gender Identity?
Oh?
I never knew, thank you so much, darling intahnet for revealing my true self.
Love,
C.
I never knew, thank you so much, darling intahnet for revealing my true self.
Love,
C.
You Date Like a Man |
According to studies on dating, you date like a man. You date casually and frequently, getting serious with select people over time. Physical attraction and chemistry is very important to you. And if there's nothing more than a physical connection, that's okay with you (at least for a while). You are definitely looking for love, but you are in no rush to find it. You figure love will eventually come your way, and you're not going to live like a monk while you're waiting! |
Sunday, January 14, 2007
My Father's Most Enviable Skill
I'm in IdyllicNewEnglandState celebrating Christmas with my father, divorce is a funny thing, it will change your ideas about what is important about holidays (hint: dates matter not at all). It's lovely and vaguely stressful. My family is a blessing I can never quantify. They love me more than anyone, and know me as well as they can. But increasing it is a blessing I find I would rather endure with TP by my side, gently guiding me through it's labyrinths.
My father's skill is buying people books. Knowing that he cannot possibly read all the good books in the world before his death, he takes incredible care selecting books for others. He chooses not only based on his own (impeccable) tastes, but also on the reviews and lists he comes upon. (This is man who will read a book, and then read several books in its bibliography.) This in and of itself is not uncommon. What is amazing is opening a package from I can tell by shape and weight is a pages filled with words I know that one or both of the following thoughts will emerge as I peel back the colorful paper he chooses with equal care:
-I've never heard of this!
-I've been wanting this read this for some time!
After Christmas we all, him included, settle into makeshift beds, or the large armchairs and finger our new treasures often succumbing to food coma before really being able to enjoy them, but knowing that they will be there for us when we emerge from our slumber days or months later, finding them tucked among other books that seem unfit in some key way. Occasionally he has to be buy a present for someone he doesn't know well and he as to fall back on his standards --The Good Soldier, Underworld, The Milagro Beanfield War . They are partially standards to be relied on, and standards with which to test new people in his life. TP received a copy of the Good Soldier as a Christmas gift, and I felt like ze had truly arrived.
Books I received this morning, have started, and can't wait to continue:
A New Way to Cook: She uses ingredients inventively and is much more interested in teaching you how to take what is in your pantry and make something amazing without "following a recipe". Not a new way to cook, for me, but that little push of inspiration is always nice. Also, well written copy with lovely pictures, not a bad thing.
How to Read Like a Writer: The first three chapters (which I read this afternoon) are titled "Close Reading", "Words", and "Sentences". I love it. She makes me want to read everything with a moleskine at my right hand and in cool silent room without distraction. Unfortunately, in the back of the book she has a list of "Book to be Read Immediately" which may consume me for many months.
Off the Books: The Underground Economy of the Urban Poor: So perfect for me it boggles the mind. I love it. I read the first chapter of this too. Everyone else napped and I read, and had a cup of coffee. This seems be a pattern.
My father's skill is buying people books. Knowing that he cannot possibly read all the good books in the world before his death, he takes incredible care selecting books for others. He chooses not only based on his own (impeccable) tastes, but also on the reviews and lists he comes upon. (This is man who will read a book, and then read several books in its bibliography.) This in and of itself is not uncommon. What is amazing is opening a package from I can tell by shape and weight is a pages filled with words I know that one or both of the following thoughts will emerge as I peel back the colorful paper he chooses with equal care:
-I've never heard of this!
-I've been wanting this read this for some time!
After Christmas we all, him included, settle into makeshift beds, or the large armchairs and finger our new treasures often succumbing to food coma before really being able to enjoy them, but knowing that they will be there for us when we emerge from our slumber days or months later, finding them tucked among other books that seem unfit in some key way. Occasionally he has to be buy a present for someone he doesn't know well and he as to fall back on his standards --The Good Soldier, Underworld, The Milagro Beanfield War . They are partially standards to be relied on, and standards with which to test new people in his life. TP received a copy of the Good Soldier as a Christmas gift, and I felt like ze had truly arrived.
Books I received this morning, have started, and can't wait to continue:
A New Way to Cook: She uses ingredients inventively and is much more interested in teaching you how to take what is in your pantry and make something amazing without "following a recipe". Not a new way to cook, for me, but that little push of inspiration is always nice. Also, well written copy with lovely pictures, not a bad thing.
How to Read Like a Writer: The first three chapters (which I read this afternoon) are titled "Close Reading", "Words", and "Sentences". I love it. She makes me want to read everything with a moleskine at my right hand and in cool silent room without distraction. Unfortunately, in the back of the book she has a list of "Book to be Read Immediately" which may consume me for many months.
Off the Books: The Underground Economy of the Urban Poor: So perfect for me it boggles the mind. I love it. I read the first chapter of this too. Everyone else napped and I read, and had a cup of coffee. This seems be a pattern.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Queer OpenMic, Redux
QOM was amazing tonight, it was the 7th year anniversary and so there were many people who came back, the whole night was like a train on a track gathering speed with each word like another piston thrusting perfectly, and the feature was amazing and I bought hir book.
Speaking of features, to be clear, I'm featuring on Thursday, April 12th. I'm considering giving further details here, but it would mean outing myself and I have mixed feelings.
As to the bio, I haven't started it, it still terrifies me. Jack, you were helpful, but now I have a set of goals and goals mean only one thing... impending doom and failure ;). Further, one of the main barriers to me being a writer, at all, like typing this right now, is thinking that I am being dreadfully self-indulgent and maybe a little catty. Both traits I abhor in myself (and others, but mainly, myself). Write a bio, believing that you have a bio to write is self-indulgence defined.
As to what I'll read -- also complicated. My mother is thinking about attending. I will need to inform her that I identify as femme, am a flirt, and talk about sex, a lot. Other people who have never seen me in this community may also be there. It should be interesting.
Speaking of features, to be clear, I'm featuring on Thursday, April 12th. I'm considering giving further details here, but it would mean outing myself and I have mixed feelings.
As to the bio, I haven't started it, it still terrifies me. Jack, you were helpful, but now I have a set of goals and goals mean only one thing... impending doom and failure ;). Further, one of the main barriers to me being a writer, at all, like typing this right now, is thinking that I am being dreadfully self-indulgent and maybe a little catty. Both traits I abhor in myself (and others, but mainly, myself). Write a bio, believing that you have a bio to write is self-indulgence defined.
As to what I'll read -- also complicated. My mother is thinking about attending. I will need to inform her that I identify as femme, am a flirt, and talk about sex, a lot. Other people who have never seen me in this community may also be there. It should be interesting.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
What it Means to be a Lesbian... Sort of
True (googlechat) conversation between TP and myself: TP: I'm wearing my boots.
me: You own boots?
TP: Doc Martens. me: Oh. Mmm.
TP: I've still got lesbian feet, baby.
me: You own boots?
TP: Doc Martens. me: Oh. Mmm.
TP: I've still got lesbian feet, baby.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Foodie Meme
(Thanks to GreyMatters for allowing me self-identify, do yourselves the same favor).
What cooking shows do you watch?
Sister, MD and I have been watching Top Chef. It is one of the only cooking shows that doesn't mildly annoy or bore me.
Your top three favorite cookbooks are:
The Joy. Moosewood Cooks for a Crowd. Essentials of Classical Italian (Marcella Hazan).
Your must-have kitchen accessory is:
Silicone spatula, cast-iron skillet/frying pan (the one with sides).
What is your go-to ingredient?
Olive oil, garlic, cumin, red wine. Fresh produce.
How many courses should a meal have?
Um. However many it needs to use up the yummy things in your fridge?
What’s your favorite course?
I've always been really intrigued by cheese courses, I also love salads. Dessert is yummy. But really, most of the meals I cook don't have courses, they are just a bunch of food on a table that people enjoy, with dessert at the end.
What nationality of food do you like the best?
For real? You want me to choose? Italian, South American, TexMex. Spicy things, things that make *amazing leftovers*.
What’s your favorite meal of the day to prepare?
Breakfast, dinner. I also *love* baking bread and cakes, and whichever meal you want soup to be a part of.
Where do you find inspiration when creating a new dish?
Whatever is in the pantry.
What is your favorite comfort food?
"I sold my soul for fresh-baked bread."
Do you ever eat fast food? If so, what?
Does TacoCabana count?
What restaurant do you want to eat at that you haven’t yet?
So many, anything that costs more money than I've spent on a meal for a while, and some specific names that will out where Harbor City is.
What’s your favorite dessert?
The wedding cake my mother makes. Baked custard.
Are there wines or liquors that you cook with?
Usually just red wine... but I would like to expand my reportoire. Suggestions?
How much time do you spend cooking a meal just for yourself?
Usually around 15 minutes, sometimes up to three hours.
What scent in the kitchen do you love?
Fresh baked bread.
What ingredient(s) do you avoid/dislike?
Bacon. Highly process salad dressings.
What’s your secret splurge at the grocery store?
High quality chocolate. Organic, good-cuts of meat.
What’s your favorite midnight snack?
Blue corn tortilla chips, cheddar cheese, salsa.
Oh, and please deal with the Mission mentioned below, pay no attention to the ways in which Jack's comments make it impossible.
What cooking shows do you watch?
Sister, MD and I have been watching Top Chef. It is one of the only cooking shows that doesn't mildly annoy or bore me.
Your top three favorite cookbooks are:
The Joy. Moosewood Cooks for a Crowd. Essentials of Classical Italian (Marcella Hazan).
Your must-have kitchen accessory is:
Silicone spatula, cast-iron skillet/frying pan (the one with sides).
What is your go-to ingredient?
Olive oil, garlic, cumin, red wine. Fresh produce.
How many courses should a meal have?
Um. However many it needs to use up the yummy things in your fridge?
What’s your favorite course?
I've always been really intrigued by cheese courses, I also love salads. Dessert is yummy. But really, most of the meals I cook don't have courses, they are just a bunch of food on a table that people enjoy, with dessert at the end.
What nationality of food do you like the best?
For real? You want me to choose? Italian, South American, TexMex. Spicy things, things that make *amazing leftovers*.
What’s your favorite meal of the day to prepare?
Breakfast, dinner. I also *love* baking bread and cakes, and whichever meal you want soup to be a part of.
Where do you find inspiration when creating a new dish?
Whatever is in the pantry.
What is your favorite comfort food?
"I sold my soul for fresh-baked bread."
Do you ever eat fast food? If so, what?
Does TacoCabana count?
What restaurant do you want to eat at that you haven’t yet?
So many, anything that costs more money than I've spent on a meal for a while, and some specific names that will out where Harbor City is.
What’s your favorite dessert?
The wedding cake my mother makes. Baked custard.
Are there wines or liquors that you cook with?
Usually just red wine... but I would like to expand my reportoire. Suggestions?
How much time do you spend cooking a meal just for yourself?
Usually around 15 minutes, sometimes up to three hours.
What scent in the kitchen do you love?
Fresh baked bread.
What ingredient(s) do you avoid/dislike?
Bacon. Highly process salad dressings.
What’s your secret splurge at the grocery store?
High quality chocolate. Organic, good-cuts of meat.
What’s your favorite midnight snack?
Blue corn tortilla chips, cheddar cheese, salsa.
Oh, and please deal with the Mission mentioned below, pay no attention to the ways in which Jack's comments make it impossible.
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