Wednesday, January 17, 2007

In Which Corinne Deals with Angst by Writing Silly Bios

Corinne is a dreadfully self-indulgent feminine thing who spends too much time reading books with pretentious titles or trying to write them with extremely limited success. She has never been published. She can flip her hair flirtatiously now that it is shorter and she is willing to talk to almost anyone about almost anything.

Corinne is a writer and research assistant living in HarborCity. She is not currently saving the world, but bakes a damn good loaf of bread and thinks this should count for something. She loves words and has a dictionary within arms reach at the dinner table. She fucks someone who is ambiguously gendered and occasionally writes about it, and you all occasionally listen.

Corinne lives in HarborCity and when she grows up she would like to make books, policy, and babies. Until then, she would like to play more often with words, lipstick, high heels, and economic data. she has never shaved her legs or been to California. She would like to go to California someday.

Corinne flirts dangerously with the faggots of her acquaintance and can't actually handle the real attentions of people who are actually interested in her. She writes bios like they might be personal ads. She has nothing to say about her writing. She wishes that someone else would do this for her. Her mother has offered to write one in the style of Marquez and this scares her particularly.

Corinne writes things that are sad or sappy or r-rated and require disclaimers, she rates the success of her writing by how many of these categories can be applied to each piece. she falls in love too easily and lives with two good friends on the third floor of a dilapidated house in HarborCity.

4 comments:

ben said...

Very nice.

And three cheers for dangerous flirtation! :)

educand - said...

It's an entertaining bio. However, I'm probably overstepping bounds by saying so (at least from the perspective of Everyone Gets to Define Themself in Their Own Way and It's None of Anyone Else's Business), but something troubled me about the first line. You're a thing? I thought you were a human being. Pairing that with the word "feminine" makes the expression sound that much more unsettling to me.

Well, anyway. Baking a damn good loaf of bread definitely counts for something. It at least makes the world a slightly better place, which is somewhere in the same vein as saving it.

Unknown said...

All due respect to educand, but I lay my cape across mud puddles with gusto for "feminine things". Especially self-indulgent ones. ;)

The "dreadfully", however, is just brick-a-brack and I'd advise that you take it out. In fact, I'd suggest dropping all the adverbs here and taking a look at what you get. I also invite you to give me the same advice frequently; I'm the world's biggest adverb abuser, sigh.

My favorite bits: the hair-flipping, bread, and dictionary, and almost all of the third paragraph.

Great warm-up! You're on your way!

:)

Corinne said...

you just want me to come to CA ;)