This Post Will Self-Destruct By the End of the Day

**POOF**

You Know You Make A Lot of Sourdough When...

You are amazed by how quickly your yeasted whole wheat bread rises and fills the bowl and pushes the towel up and you barely catch it and punch it down before it makes a big mess in your clean clean kitchen.

I have been very productive this morning - scrubbed floor, swept whole apartment, reorganized pantry - mainly because I've been procrastinating going through my writing and pulling things to read to some queer youth I'm hanging out with tonight. I'm very excited, but choosing pieces to read is always a little harrowing. Hopefully the deep slush piles and ice puddles won't deter the plan.

Space - I've Finally Made Some for Myself

So, I'm sick. Fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose, whiney disposition - these are my symptoms. My roomies are going out dancing tonight and I'm home, perhaps to write, maybe do some calculus (did I mention that I'm putting myself through this again?), I will undoubtedly drink tea, and maybe even draw myself a hot bath.

I had big plans for this weekend. First I was supposed to go to California, and then the tickets were too expensive, then I was supposed to be spending the weekend at IdyllicAncestralHome with my family, but I decided that that would be stressful. Then Roomie and I were going to go for to the cottage on the coast, but I decided that I needed this weekend to be actually in my life in Boston. This was a really good decision, even before I kissed a genderqueer with a dodgy immune system last weekend. (Or maybe, in all fairness, it is my immune system that is the dodgy one.)

In any case, I'm home for the weekend. This does mean that I have gotten around to a few things that I've been meaning to do for months. The most notable of which is that I have cleaned my desk. Really, deep down, cleaned it. Critically reimagined its organizing structures and cleaned the damn thing. I am not posting a before picture because the dust and clutter alone would send some of my readers into anaphylactic shock, since some of my readers keep an usual number of swiffers in their lives. I don't know what has been holding me back from this, options include:

1. At some point I often become an ineffective human being because the blues pull me down too far.
2. I don't think I deserve the things I could make for myself.
3. Because of A or B or both I don't prioritize properly and make the time -- see above discussion on where I'm spending this weekend.
   

I've been realizing lately that I hold myself back from a lot of things that I really want. There is a fine line between holding myself accountable for these things and beating myself up further, which would be counterproductive and lead to situation 2. In any case, the after picture is below. It looks a little odd because there is no computer there, but I'm using the fancy laptop to take the picture. Just to the left of the picture is the one window into my quirky garret bedroom, for context. I have posts brewing in my head about being a girl, and a nostalgic. But I'm hoping that I will be more willing to sit at my desk in the coming weeks, since I hope to preserve some portion of this open space.

I should have known earlier... about everything

Let the record show that the first story I ever wrote that was longer than 3 pages was a story about a gender-bending Robin Hood who seduced and married the princess so that they could institute better income redistribution policies...

Really, why did it take me so long to figure myself out? I was pretty blatantly me at the age of 12.

Just sayin'.


(Correction: It was a five-act play - intro, rising action, climax, denoument, conclusion- we read a lot of Shakespeare in seventh grade)

A More Serious Attempt

Corinne is a queer. She lives in HarborCity, but misses mountains in both Americas. Not fitting easily into any box, she creates space by playing with words, lipstick, census data, and bread recipes. She hopes that someday the words will be read by generations, the lipstick will flirt, the census data will liberate, and the bread will sustain.

In Which Corinne Deals with Angst by Writing Silly Bios

Corinne is a dreadfully self-indulgent feminine thing who spends too much time reading books with pretentious titles or trying to write them with extremely limited success. She has never been published. She can flip her hair flirtatiously now that it is shorter and she is willing to talk to almost anyone about almost anything.

Corinne is a writer and research assistant living in HarborCity. She is not currently saving the world, but bakes a damn good loaf of bread and thinks this should count for something. She loves words and has a dictionary within arms reach at the dinner table. She fucks someone who is ambiguously gendered and occasionally writes about it, and you all occasionally listen.

Corinne lives in HarborCity and when she grows up she would like to make books, policy, and babies. Until then, she would like to play more often with words, lipstick, high heels, and economic data. she has never shaved her legs or been to California. She would like to go to California someday.

Corinne flirts dangerously with the faggots of her acquaintance and can't actually handle the real attentions of people who are actually interested in her. She writes bios like they might be personal ads. She has nothing to say about her writing. She wishes that someone else would do this for her. Her mother has offered to write one in the style of Marquez and this scares her particularly.

Corinne writes things that are sad or sappy or r-rated and require disclaimers, she rates the success of her writing by how many of these categories can be applied to each piece. she falls in love too easily and lives with two good friends on the third floor of a dilapidated house in HarborCity.

Queer OpenMic, Redux

QOM was amazing tonight, it was the 7th year anniversary and so there were many people who came back, the whole night was like a train on a track gathering speed with each word like another piston thrusting perfectly, and the feature was amazing and I bought hir book.

Speaking of features, to be clear, I'm featuring on Thursday, April 12th. I'm considering giving further details here, but it would mean outing myself and I have mixed feelings.

As to the bio, I haven't started it, it still terrifies me. Jack, you were helpful, but now I have a set of goals and goals mean only one thing... impending doom and failure ;). Further, one of the main barriers to me being a writer, at all, like typing this right now, is thinking that I am being dreadfully self-indulgent and maybe a little catty. Both traits I abhor in myself (and others, but mainly, myself). Write a bio, believing that you have a bio to write is self-indulgence defined.

As to what I'll read -- also complicated. My mother is thinking about attending. I will need to inform her that I identify as femme, am a flirt, and talk about sex, a lot. Other people who have never seen me in this community may also be there. It should be interesting.